It appears as though Christmas is fast on the approach and here in Berlin, it would seem that you cannot turn a corner without there being a reminder; whether it's the heavily decorated trees being erected in all the squares, the sways of twinkly lights, sashaying across the ceilings of every department store or the seasonal songs blaring out in the supermarkets – it's safe to say, there is no escape. Personally, I am completely numb to the holidays. I haven't been at home at Christmas in nearly three years and this year will be no exception.

Long gone are the days I frantically ran round the stores, working up a sweat trying to pick out the perfect gifts for loved ones, in fact, I've not so much as sent a card to someone in years. To me, Christmas has always been more about the feeling; that warm fuzzy type you get in your gut, when you start to realise the season has started. The ads on TV, the songs on the radio, the 'seasonal' aisle in the supermarket. I like the cheer, I like the movies, the general vibe.

Having been just mère and I for Christmas since my dad died, five years ago, there hasn't ever been much fanfare in our house on the day. Normally, we simply sleep in, spend the day in our pyjamas, eating our weight in mince pies, whilst watching old movies and then sometime around midday, I cook us a huge feast of a dinner, after which we lay on the floor, bloated to sin, playing board games. It's simple, but it's how I like it. Sadly though, it's been a while since I've experienced it and sadder still, it will probably be another year until I experience it again.

In truth, the winter is a hard time for me and it doesn't seem to get any easier, as the years pass. Perhaps I shall simply attempt to ignore its presence and try my best to hibernate, keeping in mind that spring will come around soon enough...soon enough.

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