I recently received the following comment on my last post:
Whilst I don't feel as though I have to justify, or explain myself to anyone, I'd actually quite like to. Perhaps, if you are fairly new to my site, or just curious, it might serve to answer any niggling questions you may have.
Rather than repeat myself, if you wish to understand the journey it took to get me here, sat in my friend's apartment in Berlin, a suitcase to my name, then you should probably start by reading my guest post on The Tea Drinking English Rose's website.
Now you're up-to-speed, let me start by stating the obvious - I am, as it turns out, only human & am not in anyway perfect, nor profess to be. My days, weeks, years even, are spent attempting to accept this fact & work on self-love, self-worth & finding inner happiness. Eradicating the need to seek fulfillment in empty, materialistic, surface behaviour.
Do I still stand in front of the mirror & wince at the fleshy parts of my body, I wish were toned? Of course I do. Do I long to share my life with someone? Absolutely. Does that make me weak minded or superficial? No, it simply makes me human & I'm not going to be afraid to own up to my faults, nor will I feel the need to justify or apologise for them.
Just because I wish to share my life with someone (bearded or otherwise), doesn't mean to say I crave validation, or wish to be looked after. It took me long enough just to accept the thought of sharing a life with someone, without feeling as though I was stating that I would be incomplete on my own, as I wrote about here.
Having grown up with a father who spent his life trying to 'take care of things', I spent the gap after his death, learning what it meant to take care of myself. In fact, my entire journey, over the past ten months, has been entirely about finding out who I am, what I want from life & how I can achieve this, solely through my own actions. I can honestly say, my independence is everything to me now.
The past few years have been exceptionally hard at times & whilst I may not have reached a feeling of fulfillment, I certainly feel as though I've etched a little bit closer. My priority right now is to just do what feels right. Respect my body, help clear my mind & just generally be a little kinder to myself. Life unfolds naturally & organically, if we allow it to.
I like to keep this quote in mind:
If you still feel as though you have unanswered questions, please feel free to get in touch via my contact page.
If you enjoy what you read, please feel free to share it with others.