Well, it's safe to say that the past few weeks have been intense. We've been through several super full and new moons over the past few months and I personally have felt their effects heavily. I can be a sensitive little bean at times and I have a tendency to pick up a lot, from a little. My sleep patterns have been completely off, my eyes have at times been blind from tears and my heart...shattered.
Some days all I wanted was to shut off and zone out. Escape from life completely. However hard it gets though, I still find myself getting up and getting on with things and ultimately, every single day, I still find something to smile about. Whether it's something as silly as wearing a wide brimmed hat, confidently down the street, or finally accomplishing something pretty big and important, such as a work matter. I find that there is always something to be joyful about, if you're in the right mindset to see it.
Sometimes, it's those little things that make the big difference and can change your perspective on everything. Such as today, when, after yet another sleepless night, I sat, bleary eyed in the kitchen and sifted through my Instagram timeline. Berlin, Rome, Paris, Florence, Sicily, all my travels laid out in front of me and even the snaps from before, when I was still living on the coast. I had (another) little cry just looking at them all, but this time, they were tears of joy and overwhelming gratitude.
How often do I take this life of mine for granted. How quick am I to forget everything I've done, all the things I've seen, all the places I've visited. From time to time, I seem to allow myself to wallow, feeling stressed and anxious at how unstable my life is. I have no steady income, no permanent address and now, a broken heart to throw into the mix. At times, it's hard not to feel like crumbling into Berlin's cobbled streets, allowing passing cyclists to casually use me as a speed bump.
However, today, looking back through those photos, I realised how perfect and indeed amazing it has all been, even with the seemingly negative events and incidents that have occurred along the way. It's been a wonderful life, it really has and one that I am so incredibly grateful for. It has made me who I am today and in turn it has brought me to this amazing city, surrounded by the most wonderful people, who have helped me more than I could ever have expected or asked. I am so incredibly fortunate.
Whilst the future is so uncertain and I am unable to know what is to come, how things will work out, where I will end up and with whom, I can only trust that having got this far on faith alone, that the future will be magical, in its own way. I trust that any troubles that arise, will be things I know I have the strength to deal with. I think sometimes, you just have to let go. Of the fear, the expectation, the anxiety, everything that holds you back and just give in to the moment. Because when you look around and see how wonderful things are, you realise that you have nothing to worry about.
Ultimately, life is what you make it. There is the potential for all, depending on your own outlook. The world is a direct reflection of you, if you feel negative, you will only be able to see the negative aspects of the world around you. So believe, in yourself and in life and through your own positivity, you will start to see all the beauty in the world. All the glorious aspects of your environment, which will lift your spirits and help inspire you to go on, again and again. It's a wonderful world, if you only choose to see it.
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