#33

 
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Turns out it’s not enough to merely love someone
You have to hold their heart in your hands
And restrain yourself from crushing it to death
In the heat of many moments
Turns out loving someone takes patience
Many moons cannot withstand
Turns out loving you is costly
A price I never knew I couldn’t afford
Until I’d bankrupted myself for just a taste
Turns out love is a crushing blow
When it’s all you have to give
And there’s no reward for giving

#31

 
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My darling you have taught me

How my weakness shows my strength

And through the breaking comes the breakthroughs

And for that I can’t regret

All the memories of time shared

All the words that we exchanged

For in the midst of all the heartache

I have evolved and I have changed


#30

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Lost in an abyss, so grand and deep

I’m drowning in the sound of silence

These two hearts break, due to careless mistakes

Only recognised too late to mend and heal

Our fragile minds brought into decline by egos left untamed

Words thrown around like knives inflicting nothing but pain

And the waiting game creates a spacious frame

Where all our dreams and hopes erode

We followed one another into the cosmic mist

Only to fall into the great unknown

#28

 
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This is the dawn’s chorus

Gently echoing throughout our day

This is the breaking

That calls before the breakthrough

This is great love

Imbued with discontented suffering

This is letting go

So that we may learn to freely receive

This is the change

Accelerating us rapidly into progress

This is uncomfortable

Yet we see the necessity in its arrival

This is understanding

What it is to not know until it’s too late

This is the slumber

From which we were destined to awake


#27

 

Can you forgive, if you can't forget
When the painful memories still circulate repeatedly around your head
When an ill-placed word brings on a flood of emotion you'd long tried to suppress
When you can't live with, yet you can't live without
When the love is strong, but then so is the doubt
When the betrayal still cuts like a knife
Turning dreams into nightmares you're forced to relive every night
When a love turns to marriage and then soon to divorce
A fast track love affair that ran wildly off course
When a well-meaning separation feels more like a death
How do you make it through each crushing day when you're entirely bereft

#26

 
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I am drowning in your presence
Your love softly smothers me to death
I am willing, I am able
I give in freely to your requests
Your hands around my neck
Gently squeezing life and air
I am intoxicated by the madness
Falling limp without a care
Run my fingers down your spine
Soak in every spectrum of your being
Lost in the caverns of your eyes
As I sink into this feeling

#25

 
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When love is just a word
And one that can't be spoken
And promises aren't kept
Leaving hearts forever broken
And sleep becomes impossible
Due to thoughts that seem unstoppable
And images of you line every corner of my head
And kisses simply aren't enough
And a touch is merely just a touch
And soon all our passion's left for dead
And the distance becomes immeasurable
And the silence starts to deafen
And inevitably the memories begin to fade
And all the expectations
All the hopes and dreams
Slowly decompose in a lover's grave

#23

 
 

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My heart is calling for you

It bellows out your name

Words that once began as whispers

Growing louder with the pain

My eyes are sore from searching

Your face lost like a shadow in the dark

I can hear your heart is beating

In faith, I'm reaching out my arms

#21

 
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I offered you my love
A gift you weren't willing to receive
All your past inside your present
It seems you still need time to grieve
And it's a pain I know too well
A heartfelt tale I've read before
I'm always running from my past
From wounds that cut me to the core
Sometimes I'm sorry that I tried
Tried to move on to something new
When all this did was re-ignite the fire
Set the blaze of pain anew


#18

 
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I smell of sex
But the room's gone cold
And I think of you and not him
Those sweet little kisses
In the heat of the moment
Had been filled with such sorrow and sin
Now my body's pulsating
Yet I'm full of self-loathing
Seems I'd sought comfort in the touch of his skin
My naked intentions
Lay strewn on the floor
This was always a battle I couldn't win
Now here we are
In the cold aftermath
Entangled in guilt twisted limbs

#17

 
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There's a void in me like a chasm
Ever expanding
And all the richness of the universe falls right in
Lost to the abyss of a mind so dark and deep
Its boundaries seem limitless
And all those hopes and prayers
Softly whispered in so many moments of despair
Are swallowed and consumed
Reformed and remoulded in my womb
Giving light in desperate times
When laughter sadly turned to cries
Of longing for an anchor long since raised
I am adrift
Floating hopelessly towards a better day

#16

 

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I get undressed in front of the man that I'm dating

And he asks about the fist-sized bruise on my thigh

I say it's called 'I have a history of violence'

I say it's called 'I have a history of silence'

I say it's called 'Internalised rage'

I say it's called 'My body often feels like a cage'

I say it's called 'Here is the mark of my anger'

I say it's called 'Here is a sign of despair'

I say it's called 'I may never be healed'

I say it's called 'Please don't judge me today'


#15

 
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come home
come home to my embrace
let me once again wrap my legs around your waist

come back
come back into my arms
let my fingers trace the outline of your scars

come lay
come lay beside my skin
let us meet in dreams and forget our earthly sins

come talk
come talk again with me
let us share our hopes, our fears, our dreams

come home
please come home to me
let me remind you of how we used to be