A spring in my step.

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This week, my lovely friend Kate, came down from Chabanais to St Pancrace, to pay me a much welcome visit.  It's been over a month since I left her place, to come here to the horse sanctuary & in that time, she has been on vacation to England & celebrated her birthday.

To mark the occasion, I made a scrummy vegan friendly carrot cake & upon her arrival, I bestowed upon her, a Paris print lavender filled heart, which I'd had custom made by, my other bestest, Charlotte.  After a nibble of cake & a catch up, the pair of us took a trip into Brantôme, for a spot of lunch at this cute little place called Pause, before taking a stroll around town, popping into a few of the shops.

One of the places we frequented, was a vintage store, tucked away in one of the caves.  It had a funky smell, but awesome vintage postcards.  I think I am a little obsessed with vintage postcards at the moment.  I found a great stash in Florence, at a flea market & managed to stick to purchasing just the one, as I am inclined to go crazy & bulk buy.  Kate kindly bought one for me & one for herself.  Mine has a colourful picture of Nice on the front & was sent to someone in Paris, in 1933.  It shall take pride of place in my bedroom one day.

Overall, it was a lovely afternoon.  I like that I can be in France & have friends that live in the same country.  I don't miss England at all anymore.  When I first arrived in Italy, I really missed England a lot.  Mainly the food.  Italians don't do burgers & shakes.  But now, it's been so long since I've lived in the UK (eight months), that I really don't miss it at all.  Plus, now that I've found a blender, I have shakes for breakfast every day!

I think it's safe to say, I've finally adapted to the European way of life.  Especially the warmth.  It's been twenty seven degrees here!  Oooh, I just cannot wait for bare legs & tanned flesh.  Summer, I'm waiting for you!

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{Lately on Instagram}

My week on Instagram has mostly consisted of trips to the local markets & shopping for plates in Limoges.

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{Insightful Sunday} Be Brave

I often sit & visualise my dreams, they can feel so incredibly real, in fact, one time, I was meditating & saw myself in my dream Paris apartment, the patio doors open, the light beaming in, the distant sound of traffic humming by, birds calling & I honestly felt as though, if I opened my eyes, I would be there.  It felt so real.  I am a huge believer of 'if you can see it, it can happen', you can materialise your dreams.

Unfortunately though, despite my strong belief & the fact that this theory has been proven to me time & time again, I still sometimes find myself in a perilous, anxiety ridden state of mind.  Although I am filled with hope & eternal optimism,  I am often wracked with self-doubt, unable to make even the simplest decisions.  I feel terrible for my friends & mère, who so often receive fraught messages from me, having a complete meltdown.

But, trusting in your direction in life, is hard at times.  Being out there, on your own, the only one who truly sees what you see, who wants what you want, trusting in yourself, that you can achieve these things, that you can make it happen, it's hard.  Having that much faith in yourself, it's not easy.  I for one fall apart at the merest whiff of failure.

I have to constantly tell myself it'll all be okay, that I'm heading in the right direction, even if I can't always see the road.  Continually trying to find the courage to trust in life, that things will unfold naturally in good time & that I don't need to force things.  Everything that has happened, up until now, has proven this theory, which makes my constant freak-outs so perplexing.

I think letting go, 'free-falling', abandoning our head, in order to follow our heart & our gut, can be terrifying.  Let's face it, that's not what, we as a society, have been taught.  We're constantly being told to be logical, to have a plan.  Well, I say fuck the plan!  Screw mass thinking.  Sometimes, we have to be brave, go against the grain & do our own thing.  Because, in the end, it's our life, our happiness.  Who cares what other people think, they're not the ones feeling hemmed in by restraints, restraints we seem to solely put upon ourselves, through our fears.

I'm tired of falling apart for no good reason.  Casting shadows over my own hope.  I for one am going to meditate more, trust more & be brave!  If life has taught me anything, it's to have a little faith.

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