{Insightful Sunday} - Feel the fear & do it anyway.

Today would be my dad's birthday.  This will be the fifth one without him.  I think about him everyday, but more so lately, in the sense, that I think of where I am in my life now, how far I've come, what I have achieved & I wonder if he'd be proud of me.  I'd like to think he would be.

During a recent conversation with a friend, I discussed my dad's death & the subject of mortality.  Personally, I think we should be more aware & accepting of life's natural cycle.  Perhaps if we did, we'd be more inclined to do more, see more, feel more.  Stop wasting time & realise how precious these moments, this moment, right now, really is.  You're never going to have this time again.

There are many dreams floating around the head space of daydreamers (including myself).  Dreams of running away to distant places, dreams of happy ever afters, dreams of making something happen.  I think it's important to dream, my worry is, how many people lay in the haze of their dreams, unconfident  in their abilities to turn those virtual images into real ones.

I think most people have the fear block.  They've had it pummeled into them, by other disbelieving, unconfident people, that their dreams are just that, fantasy bubbles inside their brains.  Destined to reside in the crevices forever more.  How do you have the confidence to stride into the unknown, when everyone around you has told you there's danger beyond the walls to the kingdom.

I started to listen to those whispers after my dad died.  He'd always encouraged my wanderlust.  Always lived by the belief that anything was possible.  When you lose your main supporter, sometimes it's easy to wane.  Thankfully I still have mère, she pushes me off life's cliff edges & forces me to fly.  Don't get me wrong, it's terrifying at times, especially when I begin to plummet to the ground, but, I always find my wings, usually just before becoming road kill.

It is so important to have people around you that support you.  That encourage you.  That believe in your abilities to make shit happen.  Because, let's face it, even the most avid believer, the most confident of souls, can fall apart in a moment of self-doubt.  It's in those moments that other people's fear mongering creeps in & creates cracks in your foundation.  Those people are the one's who need to see you soar the most, to see that actually, the seemingly impossible, is possible after all.

Have a little confidence in yourself.  Have a little courage to believe in your dreams, whether they're small or colossal.  You're living in a world of vast opportunities, where anything is possible.  People once thought the world was flat, they laughed at the idea of space travel...There is always room to dream!

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{Lately on Instagram}

The past week has been spent perusing the many markets of the Dordogne, sipping cocktails in the grounds of a chateau, getting myself in a sartorial frenzy reading French Vogue & falling in love with beaten up trunks in the streets.

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C'est la vie!

 

My time in France is slowly but surely coming to an end, but I can't leave without a little stop in my spiritual home, Paris.  I've organised through the invaluable BlaBlaCar, to hitch a ride from Limoges to Paris, on Tuesday morning, arriving around two o'clock.  I'll only be in town for one precious night, before heading to Berlin on Wednesday, in order to arrive in time for Labor Day celebrations with my new friend Lilly, from In A Pavilion.

It's been such a long time since I was last in Paris, that I feel a mix of excitement & nervousness, mostly, I think, because, for the first time, I will be there alone.  I can only cross my fingers that the weather will be kind, as I think I'd like to spend the majority of my time strolling through the Tuileries, day dreaming of owning an apartment in Saint-Germain-des-Prés & wheezing my way up the endless steps to the Sacré Cœur, in order to snap a pic of the city.

Another very important thing I would like to squeeze in, whilst I'm there, is shopping!  The holes in my black skinny jeans have increased to unmanageable sizes & they're now fading more to grey.  I cannot lie, I have grown increasingly resentful of the small capsule wardrobe I have with me & would quite like to burn 90% of it, maybe toasting some smores over the flames, whilst I do so!  No doubt I will run into & Other Stories, Cos & Zara & attempt not to hyperventilate at all the purchasing possibilities, but I must keep calm & remind myself I still don't have an income!

It's probably asking too much to find time for a mani/pedi too, but I am so desperately in need.  Being in possession of French Vogue is making me miss a lot of things.  This entire journey, the past ten months since I started my travels(!), has really reinforced my sense of self.  Which I am so thankful for.  However, I am now desperate to embody those ideals, which is why I am so excited & so ready to stop & put down some (temporary) roots in Berlin.

I will have all of May to source some writing work & find an apartment, whilst my friend & fellow Berlin resident, Katie & I work on becoming hipster vegan yogis, who spend their days cycling round parks, fumbling through flea markets, drinking (no doubt) alcoholic beverages on cold corners & oggling ridiculously attractive bearded, skinny-jean wearing men.  Perfekt!

What's your favorite thing to do in Paris/Berlin?

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