{Insightful Sunday} Self-Belief

There can be a very fine line between self-confidence & arrogance.  Trying to manage the perception of the former, so as to avoid appearing to be the latter, can often prove difficult, especially when you have invested a lot of that confidence & self-belief into something others simply either don't understand, or can't see to be viable.

Often in life, we fail to aim for the things that our heart desires, because we are surrounded by people who tell us that we are being unrealistic, either in our approach, or our goal.  They perceive that what we intend to achieve is nothing short of impossible, impractical or overly optimistic.  They are the naysayers & the fearmongers, who like to hold us back, so as to keep themselves content, in their own state of lacking.

Sometimes it's important to separate yourself from others, allow yourself to be in your own company & ask 'am I being unrealistic.'  If when asked the question, you feel a gentle, but distinctive, buzz of excitement in your gut, that feeds your desire to prove those who would doubt you wrong, then the answer is no.  It is that very grumble of energy that lets you know, you're on the right path.  As difficult & unrealistic as it may sometimes appear.

Believing in yourself is one of the key elements to succeeding in anything.  No one can see your dream as you do.  Even if you were to describe it, down to the minute detail, you would find that others conjure up different visions to your own.  It's also important to recognise, that everyone is on their own journey, having reached where they are by varying paths.

These different experiences are what individually feed us & our drive for something, but equally so, it can be those same differences that pull each other's ideas & dreams apart.  We must remember that each of us reach our destination via different methods & routes & to respect & accept those differences, we help to encourage other's objectives & aspirations, instead of tainting them with criticism, based from our own experience.

There is not one solution to every problem.  There is not one road to every destination.  Our journey is as individual as we are & we should remember that when faced with opposition.  Remember, if you don't believe in yourself & your direction, then it's likely that others will doubt as well.  This is not to say that it is easy, especially should you choose to set yourself up with a seemingly impossible task, however, it is that same self-belief that fires up your dogged determination, which in turn is what picks you up & pushes you on, when everyone is telling you to give up & life itself is throwing you a curve ball or two.

Of course, self-belief comes with confidence & if you are meek & timid & find yourself unable to speak up, you will most likely be lacking in it.  There will no doubt be that grumble hiding deep inside yourself, but where is the confidence to let it out.  It needs to be fed by your belief in its ability to turn from a simple grumble, into a seismic roar.  You may be afraid that you're unable to be as ferocious as you need to be, but believe me, your fear itself is the only thing to be afraid of here.

When you want something enough, when it's all that fills your mind & excites your soul, then you must trust that you are capable of achieving it.  You must believe in your ability to create that which you see in your mind.  You must have the confidence to stand against the people who will doubt you & know that you can prove them wrong.  Don't waste another second doubting what you already know to be true.  Believe in yourself & the rest will happen.

click to follow for regular updates

If you enjoy what you read, please feel free to share it with others.

One year travelversary!

Well, here we are, it's the 25th July 2014 & one whole year has passed since I listed my life on eBay, packed a bag, closed the door to my house for the very last time, having said goodbye to Mr Pig, my beloved Frenchie & tearfully hopped on a plane, rather clueless as to where I would end up.

Never did I imagine that twelve months would pass & I would find myself living in Berlin.  Paris yes, but Berlin had really never even crossed my mind as an ending point.  In all honestly though, I left England in a bit of a rush & with nothing more than a couple of flights booked, I didn't much know what I would be doing in a month's time, let alone twelve of the buggers.  The fact that I'm still in one piece, with a couple of pennies still in my bank account, is really a bit of a miracle!

It certainly has been the best of times & the worst of times!  I like to compare it to the sensation of being pulled through a hedge, backwards.  I left England feeling numb, completely adrift & entirely dependent on those around me.  I had become inherently needy, disgustingly insecure & unappreciative of everything that was on offer to me.  Essentially, I was useless & wasting my life away.

The past year has seen me lose everything I didn't know I didn't need, in order to gain a world of riches, that money simply cannot buy.  Through twelve months, five countries, twenty four towns & cities, two islands, numerous meltdowns & fits of hysteria, I am proud to say I have finally found peace, perspective, some amazing new friends & been fortunate enough to have had the most wonderful experience.

In one year, I have - stood in Sicilian fields, beating carob out of trees with bamboo canes, whilst bare faced & sweaty in dirt covered denim dungarees & leather sandals, faint from the thirty five degree heat.  Sailed on a yacht, in the Mediterranean, feeling a combination of awestruck & deathly nauseous.  Over-indulged on daily servings of sickly sweet gelato & mountainous portions of pasta, later resulting in some sauna self-loathing.  Had the joy of hand picking olives & seeing them go from press to bottle, all in the same day.  Learnt firsthand how to make fresh ravioli.  Experienced the warmth of the Italian hospitality.  Done sixteen hours on a bus from the sunny west side of Sicily to the dank cold of Rome.  Spent two hours a day meditating & finding my inner balance in a Buddhist monastery, in an Italian forest.  Learnt to communicate in hand gestures & basic conversational Italian.  Realised that my French language skills are now non-existent.  Fallen in love & then rapidly back out again.  Met some people, who have become like family to me & others who were simply passing on by.  Been to places that sucked me in & made me terrifically sad to leave & others that I am satisfied to never visit again.  Gotten lost more times than I can count.  Nearly ended up in dire straights, after making the fatal error of accepting a lift from a stranger, an early mistake I'd hasten to add.  Accrued more maps than I know what to do with.  Had some of my money pinched from my wallet & spent more than I care to think of.  Been crap at keeping in touch with everyone & entirely failed at sending a postcard from every destination.  Missed my friends more than I could express in words & missed mère & Mr Pig more than my heart could take at times.  Been elated & hopelessly bereft, all in equal measures.

I have stored up thousands upon thousands of other little experiences & tales that I have still yet to share & may never find the time to.  Maybe one day.

Overall, I may have never learnt to pack light, I still get ridiculously stressed before having to take a flight/train/bus & I never did end up living in Paris, or finding my brown-eyed bearded husband, but, I think I did alright.  So here's to the next twelve months!

click to follow for regular updates

If you enjoy what you read, please feel free to share it with others.

Lost in the city.

This past week has been rather hectic & somewhat turbulent.  Tears, tantrums, sleepless nights, housing issues, you name it, it has seemingly been thrown in my face.  Whilst for the main part, all the lessons from the past year have provided me with a rock hard core of self belief, which is unshaken by all the drama, I have to admit that yesterday I just fell spectacularly apart.

Sometimes, no matter how much you believe & no matter how much positivity you possess, you simply just reach your limit.  Cycling back from a late night jivamukti class, I started to go over everything in my head.  These next six weeks are about to be the toughest few weeks of my life.  They equate to a C class vinyasa with Victoria (fellow Yellow Yogis will appreciate this).  You feel as though you simply can't go on, it's too hard, you just might crumble mid crow & die on your mat, but then, ninety minutes later, you realise, you made it & you feel kick-ass afterwards.

Falling asleep last night, eyes sodden, heart aching, hope somewhat lost, I left my troubles behind, for a world of dreams & when I woke, suddenly something had shifted & I felt the positivity had returned.  I think sometimes, you just have to reach your lowest point & be entirely drained, in order to finally refuel & have the strength to pick yourself back up & push yourself forward.  Right now, I need to persevere & make it through this next little chapter, because I know that on the other side of all this trauma, is so much ease & happiness, that it will all be worth it.

So back on a super positive vibe, I am looking forward & there is much ahead to be excited about!  Firstly my birthday on Saturday!  I'm hoping the weather is going to be kind, as I would like to go to the Botanischer Garten during the day, with friends & cycle round the blossoming gardens, snapping up the florals!  Then, if there is time, I would love to have a picnic, or BBQ at Templehofer, the abandoned airport, finally treat myself to some vegan crepes from either Oh La La or Let It Be & eventually end the evening with more food, if we're not already stuffed, over at Bite Club, if it's on.  Florals & food, my perfect birthday combination.

Secondly, my Berlin best & super talented friend, Miss Katie Chappell, has agreed to hop on the Oui Je T'aime Aussi boat & will be providing illustrations for the site!  If you're not already aware of her wonderful work, be sure to check out her website!  I am very excited by this collaboration, especially as I openly admit to not being the best photographer in the world & it pains me not to be able to sufficiently share my surroundings with you.  We shall be working on a host of new things, along with some other collaborators, including guides to eateries & places to go in Berlin, which we are also looking to turn into a zine that will be available to purchase!

Nothing makes me happier than when I am in my creative element!  Which is why I am also very happy to be working with a few online publications, contributing articles, which once published, I will also share with you.  Most importantly of all, my current focus is getting my book published!  I won't go into great detail about it, as I want to keep it close to my chest, but it will be my greatest achievement to finally get it out there & I will be sure to spam you with information when the ink is dry & the pages printed!

So realistically, there is much to be done & much to be excited about & for today, I am absorbing all the positive energy around me & using it constructively & proactively!  Keep happy guys!

click to follow for regular updates

If you enjoy what you read, please feel free to share it with others.