Happy Face

“Oh soul, you worry too much. You have seen your own strength. You have seen your own beauty. You have seen your golden wings. Of anything less, why do you worry? You are in truth the soul, of the soul, of the soul.”
— Rumi

Oh blessed beings, after so much heart ache and suffering, stress and anxiety, today, I finally feel relieved.  I feel truly happy and content, with just the little things, such as being treated to, what could only be described as, the best vegan chocolate chip cookie I have ever tasted, bought straight from the heaven that is Veganz (Schivelbeiner Straße 34, Prenzlauer Berg).  It was a breakfast of champions this morning, that is for sure and it started my day off on the right foot!

After a relaxed day, soaking in the last of the sunshine (apparently it's due to be overcast all week now), I am off to a reading at Acud Macht Neu (Veteranenstraße 21) this evening with my lovely new friend Rose, which I'm excited about, mostly because I was starting to worry that I was slowly but surely becoming an anti-social hermit, with all the work I was doing.  There really is no point in living in a place like Berlin, if you never embrace what it has to offer and I for one, am forcing myself to fully soak in every single scrap of it, whilst I have the opportunity.

The continuation of my positive vibes, have also been aided by the kind gifting of two tickets to both the cinema and a boat trip around the city, along with a pass for the U-Bahn for the week.  So now I have absolutely no excuse not to get out of the apartment this week.  I guess it's simply time to brush off my social cobwebs, dry my tears, mend my fractured heart and get back out there, into the real world.  Let's face it, worrying never did anyone any good and it certainly doesn't solve anything.  Sometimes, you've just got to pop your concerns in a box and get on with getting on.

What are your plans for the week?  I'd love to know what you're getting up to.

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{Insightful Sunday} See the beauty in everything.

Well, it's safe to say that the past few weeks have been intense. We've been through several super full and new moons over the past few months and I personally have felt their effects heavily. I can be a sensitive little bean at times and I have a tendency to pick up a lot, from a little. My sleep patterns have been completely off, my eyes have at times been blind from tears and my heart...shattered.

Some days all I wanted was to shut off and zone out. Escape from life completely. However hard it gets though, I still find myself getting up and getting on with things and ultimately, every single day, I still find something to smile about. Whether it's something as silly as wearing a wide brimmed hat, confidently down the street, or finally accomplishing something pretty big and important, such as a work matter. I find that there is always something to be joyful about, if you're in the right mindset to see it.

Sometimes, it's those little things that make the big difference and can change your perspective on everything. Such as today, when, after yet another sleepless night, I sat, bleary eyed in the kitchen and sifted through my Instagram timeline. Berlin, Rome, Paris, Florence, Sicily, all my travels laid out in front of me and even the snaps from before, when I was still living on the coast. I had (another) little cry just looking at them all, but this time, they were tears of joy and overwhelming gratitude.

How often do I take this life of mine for granted. How quick am I to forget everything I've done, all the things I've seen, all the places I've visited. From time to time, I seem to allow myself to wallow, feeling stressed and anxious at how unstable my life is. I have no steady income, no permanent address and now, a broken heart to throw into the mix.  At times, it's hard not to feel like crumbling into Berlin's cobbled streets, allowing passing cyclists to casually use me as a speed bump.

However, today, looking back through those photos, I realised how perfect and indeed amazing it has all been, even with the seemingly negative events and incidents that have occurred along the way. It's been a wonderful life, it really has and one that I am so incredibly grateful for. It has made me who I am today and in turn it has brought me to this amazing city, surrounded by the most wonderful people, who have helped me more than I could ever have expected or asked. I am so incredibly fortunate.

Whilst the future is so uncertain and I am unable to know what is to come, how things will work out, where I will end up and with whom, I can only trust that having got this far on faith alone, that the future will be magical, in its own way. I trust that any troubles that arise, will be things I know I have the strength to deal with. I think sometimes, you just have to let go. Of the fear, the expectation, the anxiety, everything that holds you back and just give in to the moment. Because when you look around and see how wonderful things are, you realise that you have nothing to worry about.

Ultimately, life is what you make it. There is the potential for all, depending on your own outlook. The world is a direct reflection of you, if you feel negative, you will only be able to see the negative aspects of the world around you. So believe, in yourself and in life and through your own positivity, you will start to see all the beauty in the world. All the glorious aspects of your environment, which will lift your spirits and help inspire you to go on, again and again. It's a wonderful world, if you only choose to see it.

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{Lately on Instagram}

I have been stuck indoors for the past few weeks, working tirelessly and unfortunately getting very little sleep and even less daylight exposure in the process.  It has truly been exhausting.  However, with certain things now done, my schedule is somewhat back to its usual relaxed state and so, I am slowly readjusting, or at least trying to.  My sleep cycle is still completely skewed however and so, mornings are becoming afternoons and the nights are far too long.

Late August was unexpectedly cold here in Berlin, which made me start to get a little excited for autumn.  I was finally able to embrace my chunky knit sweater and hide my messy tendrils under a wide brimmed hat.  Funny how the simplest of things can make you deliriously happy.  I think perhaps fall is becoming my favourite season.

I spent the last two weeks of August over in Neukölln, enjoying deep and meaningful conversations, with good company, over delicious food and taking evening strolls, getting to know the area a little better.  It was such a pleasure and with the cold setting in, I also cut down on the number of days I went to yoga, instead starting to do back-to-back classes a few times a week.  Beginning at seven in the evening, I would do ninety minutes of fast paced vinyasa, followed by ninety minutes of deep stretching yin.  A really nice combination which led me to feel super relaxed, as well as super achy.

Sadly late August also saw the disappearance of Samuel, my beloved bicycle.  Spaced out from three hours of yoga, I came out of class to find he'd simply vanished.  Not even a wheel was left to remember him by.  I hope he's being treated well, wherever he is.  I can't say I'm not devastated, because I am.  Mostly because I'd become very emotionally attached to him, we'd been through a lot together.  Overcoming my fear of cycling, his stolen seat, the flat tire incident.  I will miss our middle of the night rides across town.  Alas, all things happen for a reason and so, for now, I am simply walking everywhere until I find a replacement.

As of September, I am temporarily back across town in Prenzlauer Berg and it appears as though we are having an Indian summer here in Berlin.  After finally taking the time to venture outside this week, I couldn't believe how hot and sunny it was!  I have officially folded my sweater back up and have happily brought the T-shirts back out.

Embracing both the weather and a freed up schedule, I had the great pleasure yesterday, of meeting one of my lovely readers and fellow writers, Rose, who has recently moved to Berlin from England.  The pair of us went for delicious vegan cakes and shakes over at Chaostheorie (Lychener Straße 4, Prenzlauer Berg) and then afterwards, we treated ourselves to a refreshing mango sorbet each, from the local Eis bar.  The sun was shining and it literally felt like a summer's day!  Making new friends, eating sweet treats, soaking up the rays, this, I've decided, is what life is really all about.

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