{Insightful Sunday} Take Courage.

Even when you're as unattached and flighty as me, it can be surprising how easy it is to get caught up in the daily grind of things and lose focus.  I for one, had certainly seen myself fall off track over the past few months and had unfortunately ended up sucked into the chaotic vortex of routine in Berlin.  All of the passion I'd inherited during the start of my travels, had slowly petered out over time to such an extent, that I almost found myself climbing back into the same cage I'd courageously managed to escape from, when I left England fourteen months ago!

Being back in the temporary bosom of Kent, whilst not initially something I craved, has ended up being a real eye opener for me.  Being able to catch up with some of my wonderful friends and witnessing how many of them are finally starting to break out of their own shells and start following their real passions and their hearts, it's really made me smile and acted to re-inspire me.  Sometimes, when we shake off the shackles and run free into the woods, we can't help but get a little lost along the way, distracted by creatures that appear and paths that open up.  Sometimes, we need a little reminder of where we're going.  This has certainly been that.

I've always said that being yourself is the most important thing.  Living authentically.  Doing what's right for you as an individual.  Doing things for the right reasons and out of love, not fear or hate.  Putting good energy out there, for yourself and for others, is important when you consider that what goes around comes back around.  Although, I know only too well that at times this can be hard, especially when not everyone knows who they are and in some cases, not everyone is ready to even be who they are.  They can sometimes be the folks who have a tendency to project their fear and negativity onto you, in an attempt to bring you down, because they're not quite ready to get up yet.

Sometimes, in the end, it's those people that you realise you're fighting for.  If you've got the courage to let your freak flag fly and be proud of it, no matter what, it helps to show them that they can too.  They need to be encouraged to dream big, outrageously big and shown that dreams really can come true, if you believe enough.  Yes, okay, life isn't always easy, but if it was, well, damn, we'd probably all be done right now and what would be left to learn.  It can be a hard slog and sometimes it feels overwhelming, but if you can keep strong and get through the tough times, I truly believe you'll find it's worth it.

Think of all the times your heart sang out.  All the times you cried with joy.  All the times you laughed so hard your stomach hurt.  Ultimately, weren't they worth the salty tears and the sleepless nights and in fairness, how could you ever truly know how great those moments really were, if you didn't have the dark times to compare them against.  It's in those brutal, broken states, that we come to appreciate the good and recognise how getting through them, made us see just how capable we are and how much we're able to achieve, when we only have the courage to persevere.

I for one don't want to blend in.  I don't want a routine.  I don't want my life to be beige.  To be bland.  My wardrobe may be monochrome, but my heart is technicolor!  I openly and actively allow myself to dream big, because I genuinely believe in my ability to make those crazy ideas come true, regardless of how unrealistic they may seem.  There's a little individual sparkle in each and every one of us, we just need to learn to let that fleck of light shine out and not allow it to be dimmed by other people's opposing opinions, beliefs or views and most importantly, not by our own doubts and insecurities!  If ever there was a time to let your freak flag fly, now would be it!  So please, take courage, 'cause where you're going, you're gonna need it!

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{Lately on Instagram}

If feels oddly surreal to be back in England, back in Kent.  The last time I was here, it was Christmas.  The sky at the time was ominously dark, for what felt like most of the duration, there had been a bitter chill in the air, which had cut through me and made my need for a coat more of a desperation and the rain, well...I look around and whilst the conditions have improved, the sense of timing is much the same.  Staying with Charlotte, catching up with other close friends and visiting Mère and Mr Pig, it feels as though I were only here a week ago, not nine months.

My entire life, all my worldly possessions, bar what I carry around with me, in Sir Fleming's loaned carry-on, fits into three reasonably sized boxes and one suitcase, which are all stored at Mère's.  During my first weekend here in England, I popped over for the day, to delve into my things and pick out the odd bits I'd been missing and wanted to take back home with me to Germany.  It was honestly like going through a treasure chest.  There were so many things I'd forgotten about, which, I guess to some extent, says a lot about how much of what we seem to hold on to, we could probably live without.

I picked out my favourite book; The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets, by Eva Rice, which I treasure beyond compare.  I first read it when I was eighteen and have read it every winter since.  In fact, it is the only book that I have ever re-read, which I think says a lot.  Because I have such a tradition of reading it at this time of year, I have been craving its words and so, I knew it had to be the first thing I rescued from those boxes.

I also grabbed my pointe shoes, as I managed to find an English speaking ballet class in Prenzlauer Berg, which I am desperate to sign up to.  Although, when I'll start that, I don't know!  Most excitedly though, I got to soak up all of my jewellery!  I've felt awfully naked this past year.  I only took my watch and my favourite necklace out traveling with me last July and within about four months, both ended up broken!  However, now that I'm not bustin' my ass in a carob field anymore, I figured it was safe to bring some other treasures home with me, so both my YSL Arty ring and my vintage Chanel brooch are now back into daily circulation.  It's surprising what a difference a little sparkle can make to both an outfit and my mood.

I still have some time left here in England and I am attempting to get as much work done as possible, as well as fitting in seeing as many friends as I can, whilst I have the opportunity!  Then, at the crack of dawn on Thursday, I shall be flitting off on a plane over to France for a week or so, to see another one of my favourites, before finally going home to Berlin.  It will most definitely have been a busy October!  I cannot even believe that it's nearly Christmas already.  I don't know where the past year has gone, it just blitzed right by!

How has your October been thus far?  Are you getting excited for Christmas yet?

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{Resolution 5} Start where you are.

If I've learnt anything in the past year, it's that sometimes you just need to completely let go - of your expectations, your grip on things, your fear and learn to just go with the natural flow of life.  Okay guys, admittedly this is easier said than done at times.  I myself often struggle.  I'm a really structured person, I appreciate a little routine and knowing upfront where I'm heading and what's in-store.  I'm impatient and I like things to happen at lightning speed, because hey, once I get an idea in my head and allow myself to get excited, I don't want to be waiting around!  But sometimes, just sometimes, you've got to take a step back, slow right down and accept that things might not be heading straight in the direction you were aiming for.  Sometimes you have to accept a detour.

With Mercury in retrograde this month, my current detour back in England couldn't be more apt!  If you're not astrologically inclined, Mercury, the great planet of communication, likes to take a little step back in time on average about three times a year, for the duration of about three weeks.  This reversal tends to throw a few things off balance and can disrupt even our best laid plans.  Yes, it can be hectic and a little brutal, however, it's also a good time for deep reflection.  Going back over your ideas, your thoughts, your values and any plans you've made and really questioning whether they're still right, or in need of adjustment.

For me, things in Berlin had simply reached a stalemate in every aspect and my mind had become fogged, meaning I was completely unable to make an informed decision about what to do next.  Although returning to England in some ways will always feel a little defeatist, even if it is only for a few weeks vacation, I have come to recognise that it was the right thing to do and it has most definitely been a positive step in the right direction.  Staying with my beautiful best Charlotte and her lovely fiance Sebastian, has kept me grounded and boosted my positivity and creativity no end.  They are both very heart-centred loving people and I think, when you're around that type of energy, it just can't help but rub off on you.

I've been able to really shift my perspective and re-evaluate a few things this past week.  I honestly love my work, I love living in Berlin and whilst I am still climbing a very steep hill to get to where I really want to be, I am truly happy.  I think it's important to acknowledge that at the end of the day, we're all human and we humans don't half have a lot of emotion encased within our fleshy selves.  Unfortunately, at times, whilst our higher selves might be clued up and believing, occasionally our emotions will get the better of us and no doubt, we will find ourselves crumbling into a teary heap of disbelief and doubt.  That's okay.  That's normal.  That's what comes of having one foot on the ground and the other in the ether.  The main thing is to feel what you feel when you feel it and then let it go.

For the most part, we are all striving to get to a particular destination.  Each individual to ourselves.  It's hard not to want to click your fingers and for it all to be magically manifested in front of you, but these things take time and let's face it, as impatient as we can sometimes be, we know that the best things in life are worth waiting for.  So this Mercury retrograde is a particularly good time to reaffirm to yourself what it is that you want in life, where it is you're aiming for.  We might not be able to have it all right this minute, but we can at least do what we can, with what we have, right now and be appreciative of that.

Look inside yourself, everything that you want, you are already that.
— Rumi

N.B.  All photos accompanying my Happiness Project posts will be taken from one of my Pinterest boards, which hosts all the images that make me happy.  Feel free to check it out in the meantime, for more happy snaps.

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