#28

 

Can you forgive, if you can't forget
When the painful memories still circulate repeatedly around your head
When an ill-placed word brings on a flood of emotion you'd long tried to suppress
When you can't live with, yet you can't live without
When the love is strong, but then so is the doubt
When the betrayal still cuts like a knife
Turning dreams into nightmares you're forced to relive every night
When a love turns to marriage and then soon to divorce
A fast track love affair that ran wildly off course
When a well-meaning separation feels more like a death
How do you make it through each crushing day when you're entirely bereft

#26

 
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I am drowning in your presence
Your love softly smothers me to death
I am willing, I am able
I give in freely to your requests
Your hands around my neck
Gently squeezing life and air
I am intoxicated by the madness
Falling limp without a care
Run my fingers down your spine
Soak in every spectrum of your being
Lost in the caverns of your eyes
As I sink into this feeling

#25

 
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When love is just a word
And one that can't be spoken
And promises aren't kept
Leaving hearts forever broken
And sleep becomes impossible
Due to thoughts that seem unstoppable
And images of you line every corner of my head
And kisses simply aren't enough
And a touch is merely just a touch
And soon all our passion's left for dead
And the distance becomes immeasurable
And the silence starts to deafen
And inevitably the memories begin to fade
And all the expectations
All the hopes and dreams
Slowly decompose in a lover's grave

#23

 
 

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My heart is calling for you

It bellows out your name

Words that once began as whispers

Growing louder with the pain

My eyes are sore from searching

Your face lost like a shadow in the dark

I can hear your heart is beating

In faith, I'm reaching out my arms

#21

 
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I offered you my love
A gift you weren't willing to receive
All your past inside your present
It seems you still need time to grieve
And it's a pain I know too well
A heartfelt tale I've read before
I'm always running from my past
From wounds that cut me to the core
Sometimes I'm sorry that I tried
Tried to move on to something new
When all this did was re-ignite the fire
Set the blaze of pain anew


#18

 
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I smell of sex
But the room's gone cold
And I think of you and not him
Those sweet little kisses
In the heat of the moment
Had been filled with such sorrow and sin
Now my body's pulsating
Yet I'm full of self-loathing
Seems I'd sought comfort in the touch of his skin
My naked intentions
Lay strewn on the floor
This was always a battle I couldn't win
Now here we are
In the cold aftermath
Entangled in guilt twisted limbs

#17

 
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There's a void in me like a chasm
Ever expanding
And all the richness of the universe falls right in
Lost to the abyss of a mind so dark and deep
Its boundaries seem limitless
And all those hopes and prayers
Softly whispered in so many moments of despair
Are swallowed and consumed
Reformed and remoulded in my womb
Giving light in desperate times
When laughter sadly turned to cries
Of longing for an anchor long since raised
I am adrift
Floating hopelessly towards a better day

#16

 

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I get undressed in front of the man that I'm dating

And he asks about the fist-sized bruise on my thigh

I say it's called 'I have a history of violence'

I say it's called 'I have a history of silence'

I say it's called 'Internalised rage'

I say it's called 'My body often feels like a cage'

I say it's called 'Here is the mark of my anger'

I say it's called 'Here is a sign of despair'

I say it's called 'I may never be healed'

I say it's called 'Please don't judge me today'


#15

 
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come home
come home to my embrace
let me once again wrap my legs around your waist

come back
come back into my arms
let my fingers trace the outline of your scars

come lay
come lay beside my skin
let us meet in dreams and forget our earthly sins

come talk
come talk again with me
let us share our hopes, our fears, our dreams

come home
please come home to me
let me remind you of how we used to be

#13

 
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Oh dark night, I taste sweet sorrow on my lips

It seems I have been kissed by the jagged edge of brokenness

And from its cuts, my blood runs clear

My joy long lost to the bitterness of fear

And now I hear the call of death knocking at my door

A raspy tapping I have heard many times before

It's apparent hope could only ever have been fleeting

For a heart that's long since stopped its beating


#12

There's an emptiness that lingers
There's a pain that dwells inside
From all the heartache that you've suffered
From all the hurt you've tried to hide

But all those lessons that you've learnt
Wrapped in bitterness and tears
Are getting harder to accept
As your hope gets rattled by your fears

And with every failed endeavour
Heart always shattered in your hand
You grow more broken and alone
A torment you always fail to understand

If you could end it all you would
Pierce a bullet through your heart
You've more than suffered for your love
You deserve a brand new start

#11

 

I love you but I'm leaving
As my heart begins to bleed
I love you but I'm tired
From all the gritting of my teeth
I love you and I'm sorry
I never wanted it to end
I love you but I'm broken
Bitter longings fill my head
I love you but it's over
You never fought for me to stay
I love you
But now there's nothing left to say

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#10

 

When you give someone too many chances

Brought on by a soft heart and too many glances

Across a room that was once full of hope

Now there's an echo from the words you've revoked

And all the calm that predated the storm

Got mislaid and exists somewhere, somewhat forlorn

And recovery seems a little farfetched

When you're still bleeding from the hole in your chest


#8

 
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I still hide you


I still hide you in my poetry
I still hide you in my words
I still frame you round the syllables
That I once softly spoke and you once heard
I'm still enslaved by your memory
Still in rapture at your smile
My heart still beats a little faster
With that gentle flicker of desire
I still catch your scent at times
It still lingers faintly in the air
I still greet you in my dreams most nights
Waking cold and clammy with despair
I still love you like I always have
But it's simply not the same
Now that love runs through my art
And no longer through my veins